So I’m sitting at my desk at work feeling like crap only in my head though. I’m pretty sure it’s just my hormones but that’s doesn’t make my point irrelevant!
It’s not that I hate my job, because I don’t. I’m happy to have an office job especially over my old retail jobs and I’m grateful to even have a job at all, as I know some people aren’t so lucky.
It’s just that this 9-5 job just doesn’t do it for me, again I prefer it over the random shifts you get retail and I like the routine. But I think I just don’t like working in general, that makes me sound lazy doesn’t it? Maybe I am lazy and yeah I don’t enjoy gettin up at 6am and coming home at 7:30pm, however that’s not the only reason.
I get bored easily, like very easily. “But only boring people get bored” yeah yeah whatever I don’t believe that crap. I just can’t have the same routine all the time and I hate getting up early for the same routine. All I want to do is travel the world, and gain experience of and from life before I find and settle into a job that is right for me, although I don’t know what the hell that is!
Also I can’t actually afford to travel, so I have to work in order to save but my saving skills are worse then my attention span. It’s a catch 22? Also I’m incredibly weak minded, this is something I don’t like I admit but it’s true. It gets me down feeling like things are never changing, that’s why I’ve had 3 jobs in the span of a year an a half.
I just don’t get how my colleagues can sit in this office for 6 years or so and not feel depressed when they drag themselves out of bed every morning. Money is an important aspect to a job for me however shallow that is, but that’s not enough, especially when you work 40 hours a week and don’t even have time to spend it.
I am also fickle to say the least, I wanted to be a film director, and I studied media at college, then I wanted to be video game developer, and studied this at college, a writer and god knows why else. Although I would still love to get payed to write things! I dropped out of uni within the first few months because again I got bored and felt it wasn’t right for me. Point being I need to hurry up and decide what I want, what makes me happy and what can pay the bills at the same time..
I don’t know where I’m going or what to do next, every time I start something new its not long before I’m already thinking about what I can do next. I personally see this as a positive thing, as it keeps me wanting more and striving to achieve more. But having patience is something I need, I also need to accept that things take a while and you have to start from the bottom to reach to the top (Drake reference).
Why do I struggle to be happy with things the way they are? and accept that if I work hard and save maybe one day I’ll be doing something that involves me waking up in the morning and feeling excited to start the day.
Is it actually possible to enjoy a job!?